Date: 2018-02-22 14:38
DISAGREEMENT ALERT: I am an eighteen year old Christian girl who has been raised in a Christian family. This article is offensive to me in the fact that you think we are being misled by our parents. We as teenage girls aren 8767 t stupid. We know that sex before marriage was not intended. We can come to that conclusion on our own. Your quote “We need to stop putting our *censored*ren into adult situations and expecting them to make wise, God honoring decisions” I want to laugh at. We aren’t going to live under rocks all our lives. Sure, I believe that sheltering from worldly things is best, but you can’t remove us from any situations. God instills a gift in a teenage girl to “sniff out” the bad guy wanting us just for our bodies. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of three months. Funny thing is, I knew he liked me and pursued me for my personality. Over a three and a half month period, there was plenty of times for us to make-out or get “to it”, but you know what? The only thing he ever did was kiss me on the cheek for our Valentine’s dinner. I think in this article you have turned us into sex-crazed *censored*s that can’t function without our parents putting us in chastity belts. I have an intuition of the right guy from the wrong guy. Just last week, my friend Snapchat “booty called” me. I have had the biggest crush on him forever and have wanted nothing more than to date him. But when he asked me if I wanted to come over because he wanted someone to have sex with, I said no. My mom didn’t find out until today what happened and how I handled it. So thank you very much, but I can remove my own self from sexual situations, because us “clueless and gullible” teenage girls you mistake us for were once you. Have you ever thought that maybe a teenage girl’s sexual curiosity’s are because parents treat sex as such a taboo thing. My parents are willing to talk with me when I have questions, and frankly, I’m about as unfiltered as it comes. They are open and honest about it, divulging me the appropriate details and being transparent in their love for one another. In this article, if you are discouraging talking about sex, as I read you are, you are only allowing our curiosity for it to grow. The unknown is what makes it exciting and tempting for us. So before you want to say that we can’t handle it and we need to be “rescued” from all our sinnin’. Check yourselves and ask if you are being completely transparent about sex. Because it’s a natural and beautiful thing God made. And I’m perfectly content making my own decisions. And by the way, I’m still a virgin and I have survived my youth years without my parents having to remove me from ANY situation. Thank you very much.
Thats the great article I have read so far. First of all thank you for sharing this.
Well, my scenario is quite complicated. There was my ex who broke up with me in 7 months because we were studing in different cities and moreover I wasnt much romantic and flirter with him, more into study and fun. That broke up has a long effect on me that i never able to overcome from him till now, its been 6 years almost. We are still in touch with each other since our break-up. He told me, he went through guilt for an year of hurting my sentiments but never told me the reason exactly. Anyway, after that broke up, in my class, I made a best friend who was guy, we were best buddies, and my ex used to visit me whenever he come to home (which is in my city where I study). He made efforts to came and meet me up. I used to meet him, then I went to aborad for my exchange studies, there I got to know my best friend was getting married. I got devasted by that news, bcz he was the only friend who was close to my heart. I called my ex to ask him out for marriage, which he denied it completely, but always flirty over phone, share his guitar and listening to music with me. I got frustrated bcz there I wasnt able to move on in my life bcz of this ex who is somewhere on my head and heart everytime. Finally, I asked my best friend to marry me. He told me to come back from exchange program to marry him, which I denied it bcz I cant marry in the middle of my studies, I told him, i started looking him as a potential mate and lets get settle first and then think about marry. Anyone, that plan didnt work, when I came back to my country after an year, this ex showing interest in me, but I thought of moving out specially when I am seeing my best friend going away from my life who was closed to my heart more than anyone else. There my friend got engaged with some girl, I went through massive emotional turmoil of my friend leaving me, then this ex came and had physical intimacy twice with me (no sex, only a *censored* make out). I was emotionally not stable at that time, bcz I was broken with my friend engagement with whom I wanna marry to. This best friend of mine later called me from the city he lived in which is another city than I live in. This friend cried over phone that he made a mistake of choosing that girl who his parents choosed for him. I became emotionally senisitive towards him, went to his city to meet him. There i told my friend who knew my ex (my ex also knew about my friend) about the make out session happened between me and ex bcz of emotional turmoil of his marriage news. this friend made out (no sex god blessing that I didnt fell into the trap) also with me, and then later unable to stop his marriage. I was going through massive emotional rollar coster ride, there i connect with my ex again and told him how I am thinking to get marry to my friend bcz u r not serious for me. This ex after listening to this, again made out with me, and I wasnt able to stop him, as if my mind became numb or something. I was going through so much emotions that I was unable to stop anyone.
First let me just say teens are going to have sex if we like it or not, and it 8767 s not always at a young age, but we are seeing more and more teens doing this so young, which is sad. With that being said I don 8767 t feel like this post is sending the best message on how to deal with this situation, teens are going to act out more trying to be forced by parents to do something that they don 8767 t want to do, I have seen it first hand. I also don 8767 t think we should shove the word of God down teens throat to much, most teens do not give a crap about what the bible says at their age because they are going to do what they want, then worry about it later. I just don 8767 t think saying 8776 you need to repent unholy *censored*, for you have done a sin in his eyes and are now unclean 8776 is the best way to handle the situation. There is a way to talk to your *censored*s about purity in gods eyes but don 8767 t say god will think you unholy in taking a part in this act. I only say this because a family that is very close to mine, did the same thing with every single thing they did, talking about gods word for when they sneezed, and they are the most rebellious teens I know. Moving on, learn how to trust your *censored*s, you have to teach them how to be trusting which is very easy, don 8767 t get strict on your *censored*s, and call them every hour asking where they are, when they start getting into early stages of puberty, etc. teach them to be honset with you, let them know how upset you get when they lie, and don 8767 t yell at them, don 8767 t make them do 65 Hail Marys, *censored*s feel more guilty when their parents are disappointed in them, then being angry, in their mind they think they are adults and feel like they have to be treated as such, sit down with them, talk with them about how it upset you that they lied, just talk first! Ask them why they thought they felt the need to lie to you, after you talk then you can ground them for however long you want, if they try to scream and yell when you are talking to them send them to their room and let them calm down, and tell them I will speak with you when you address me in an adult matter, teens tend to listen and be less stupid when we have are emotions in control. Same goes for you, if you do end up yelling at your *censored*, let yourself calm down and then ask to talk to your *censored* again. Now in order for your *censored* to be trusting and honest is to, give them the chance to be trusting, don 8767 t call them every hour, asking what they are doing, they teen I would hang out from that family, mom and dad would call her every hour and she would lie each time, I even asked her why don 8767 t you just tell her what you are doing? She said she doesn 8767 t want to trust me anyway so why tell her the truth. Lastly talk with your *censored*s about sex and boys, they are going to figure it out anyway so might as well be from you, but be truthful about what boys want at that age, and the risks and how it could change their life 8767 s and let them know they are worth so much better than that. My mother when I was a teen took a day out of both of are schedules, and all we did was talk about boys, the birds, and the bees. Talk to them about it when they ask about it, don 8767 t just bring it up over the dinner table, you can talk about it again when they have that first boyfriend. Don 8767 t let them tread out in open water with out least giving them a paddle. Look we all were teens once, we remember how it was to be a teen, we can 8767 t prevent teens for having sex, or saving them selfs for marriage, even in the 6855 8767 s teens where having sex, it 8767 s just not a normal thing any more, but let them know to save themselves for someone to truly love and care about, and to not feel pressed into doing something, that is not for them. Look all I 8767 m saying is get to know your *censored*s, that is the problem with today, parents don 8767 t try to get to know their *censored*s, parents it 8767 s not like it 8767 s the Scientific method. Also we all find are path to God in are own way when we need him the most and when we ask for his help, so don 8767 t force someone on the path to God when they are not ready to take that path. My mother did all this with me and I have never done drugs, got out partying all the time, I didn 8767 t lie, always told my mother what I was doing with out her even asking me, and I saved myself for someone special, and I was very happy with my choice. All this is, is gettting to know your *censored*.
Candice I couldn 8767 t cheer you on enough you took words right out of my mouth. This is the core of what irritates me so much about dating. I have looked at so many e-books and advice that all says the same thing as this about us women having to hold out ourselves just so we don 8767 t 8775 scare them off. 8776 As I 8767 ve been reading about this 8775 challenging men 8776 and them wanting a chase or making them 8775 earn me 8776 I have become exhausted at the thought. They speak so much about us women 8775 filling our voids 8776 and how it 8767 s too much for a man to fill you up with things. Well, it 8767 s too much for me to have to fill their void of needing a challenge, chase or winning/earning me. I 8767 m not a 8775 thing 8776 to work for, I 8767 m a person. A person with real wants, desires and emotions. I really hate the idea of men or anybody in general just evaluating whether I have any worth or not. I am a human being. The only people I can see thinking they aren 8767 t worth much are people that deceive, screw somebody over and use people. I think they are very low value. But not this nonsense of people thinking you are high value just because so many others want you. I can 8767 t control what other people like. Some people are stupid and don 8767 t like a good thing. Some people don 8767 t even like chocolate. So, it seems like many people have gotten the idea they are some kind of god and that nobody 8775 deserves 8776 them. The fact is, they sh** the same way everybody else does. These people that seem to think they are some kind of god well, they have their own faults just like anybody else and s*** the same as everybody else. A lot of this stuff is what I call 8775 dating politics. 8776 I hate it even more than office politics. So, the people that like and want a person because everybody else does don 8767 t they have an opinion of their own? Who cares if everybody else likes them do YOU like them? I just wish the people that practiced the attitude that a person is high value because everybody else wants them would have a backbone and have an opinion of their own. I decide if I like a man and I know what I like. Yes, I agree with Candice 6555% about EVERYTHING Candice posted. It is very fulfilling and even exhausting to have to entertain men. It is very unnatural to be half in it so that the man can chase us and we don 8767 t scare them away. I agree, it is about how to catch a young boy hahaha!! We seem to have to win them more than they supposedly win us.